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Explaining Quantum Mechanics

Posted by bigceebee on June 4, 2011 at 8:20 AM

Though many people have heard of quantum mechanics, a large number only have the vaguest idea of what this field of study entails. To this effect, I've decided to share my views on the subject as I understand it.

It is said that the history of quantum mechanics dates back to 1838 with the discovery of cathode rays, though I question this for a couple of reasons. First of all, the modern automobile was only invented in 1885 and secondly, what the hell do cathode rays have to do with cars to begin with? Regardless, this exposé will concentrate on more recent aspects, developments and applications of quantum mechanics. Photos and examples will be used to illustrate this often considered complex theory.

An important aspect of quantum mechanics is the Calabi-Yau manifold pictured below:

According to my intense research, the first major breakthrough with this manifold occurred in 1969 when racing driver and mechanic, Jim Douglas, installed one in his race car resulting in perfomance improvements far beyond his expectations.

Jim Douglas, racing driver and mechanic.

Douglas' race car, nicknamed Herbie, was the first automobile ever fitted with a Calabi-Yau manifold.

Following Douglas' success, many specialists in the automotive industry became involved in further perfecting the Calabi-Yau manifold and related aspects of quantum mechanics with some progress. However, it was not until 1985 that the next giant leap was made when noted researcher, Doc Brown, discovered a particular calibration of the manifold which allowed him to transform an automobile into a time machine.

Noted researcher, Doc Brown.

The Delorean which Doc Brown transformed into a time machine through applications of quantum mechanics.

Surprisingly, another twenty years would pass before the next major breakthrough in the field of quantum mechanics. In 2005, a quirky, anonymous inventor unveiled Tumbler, an automobile which he had designed and built using previously untested theories of quantum mechanics, including the now famous superstring theory. The result was an automobile which could go really fast and change appearance according to the driver's mood and requirements.

Photo of Tumbler's anonymous inventor

A rare photo of Tumbler, parked at a New York shopping mall in 2005.

The advances made in quantum mechanics with the development of Tumbler, particularly in the area of appearance changing capabilities, have led to the high-tech automobiles we've come to know as commonplace today.

Pictured here is the 2007 Camaro Bumblebee limited edition, built by the Chevrolet division of General Motors.

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1 Comment

Reply Sir Samuel Zeus Clemons
11:25 AM on June 04, 2011 
i thought that along the evolutionary chain that Speed Racers elusive and mysterious brother known as Secret Racer perfected the Gumball Rally Camaro driven by Burt Reynolds when he still had hair, but Burt would never admit to the use of quantum mechanics, he thinks he was actually a good driver and maintainer of fine cars. It requires further study, and i'll have to turn this over to @DirtyGarnet on Twitter.

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